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08-Jul-2017 02:21

The second question, "Why Do Adults Stay In Abusive Relationships? Partners in abusive relationships have varying reasons for remaining in them.

A first layer of the reasons for staying in an abusive relationship is practical, even if they are not always rational.

Inevitably, in truly abusive relationships, the latency period ends with the beginning of another abuse episode; the abuser again feels angry, disrespected or treated poorly in some way and the cycle starts all over again.

Though such cyclical abuse is repetitive and predictable, it is also intermittent, and the rest of the relationship might be perceived as good enough or even loving.

In this context, victims often rationalize that they aren't really being abused, that their partner really loves them despite being abusive and that makes it okay, that the abuse really isn't all that bad, and other similar statements.

Victims are motivated to generate excuses their abuser, to think of each abuse episode as a "one time" thing (even when it isn't), and to focus on the good aspects of the relationship (particularly those positive things that during the guilt/latency phase of the abuse cycle) and convince themselves that the relationship is really a good one and that everyone has some problems in a relationship, i.e., my partner just occasionally loses his/her temper when really stressed at work, etc.

Still other abused people may rationalize staying in abusive relationships because they think it is the right thing to do for their children.

Some abused people feel they cannot leave their relationships because they are economically dependent on them.